I never knew how many types of silence there were until we heard the space where your heartbeat should have been.
The gasping silence dredged up between sobs that were too deep to make a sound.
The helpless silence that grew between two people lying in bed in the darkness, where words seemed meaningless.
The uncomfortable silence on the other end of the line, when what were expected to be happy updates were instead stilted words of heartbreak.
The blinking silence of a cursor as the trivial concerns of day-to-day life still went on even though the world was imploding around us.
The looming silence of a day circled on a calendar that couldn’t be erased but would forever be empty.
The awkward silence and words not said in an effort not to “remind us.”
The quick moment of silence during the pause before answering “do you have any children?”
The lonely silence of wondering if anyone even remembers your short, quiet existence.
And the pocket of silence, tucked deep in my heart, where the “I love yous” that I never got to whisper in your ear echo with every beat.
If loss is a part of your family building journey and you are looking for support, we offer Pregnancy Loss Peer Groups to provide spaces for your to connect with others who have also experienced miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, chemical pregnancy, TFMR, and/or recurrent pregnancy loss.
Having a community to talk with and validate this emotional journey can be a wonderful source of peace, comfort, and validation. Sometimes others are hesitant to bring up a loss in an effort not to “remind” you about it, but when you’ve experienced a loss you remember every single day. Having someone acknowledge that your child was present, no matter how briefly, can be a wonderful gift.
During Pregnancy and Infant Awareness Month this October, we’re honoring the memory of little ones who live in our hearts by making free, hand-stamped bracelets for people who have experienced a loss or losses. They can include a name, nickname, dates, or whatever word or phrase is most meaningful to you. If you are interested in receiving a bracelet in memory of your baby or babies, or would like to be connected with resources and support, please email us at [email protected].