From Kristen Darcy, Author of Love and Infertility
In this month of love, I’m happy to share with you three self-care strategies to begin today – for you and your relationship.
During life-challenging times, like receiving a diagnosis of infertility, we often forget that the most important part of being a great lover to others, is to love ourselves first with holistic self-care.
Hearing the diagnosis of infertility, most likely after attempting to conceive on your own for the required 12 months, could trigger a crisis and a sense of falling out of love with your mind, your body and your life.
Are you feeling that you are no longer digging you?
Here are three simple and powerful tips to create that sense of inner peace and self admiration that is critical to your over all state of well-being.
Think Loving Kindness
Speak loving Kindness
Act Loving Kindness
Think Loving Kindness thoughts:
There is no faith in fear!
When your thoughts are twisting and swirling around in a negative pattern, you’re actually only using the right side of your brain, also known as the “fight or flight side.” The Amygdala is the alarm center of the brain and it blocks the “bridge” wiring between hemispheres, also known as the Corpus Callosum, cutting your thoughts off from the logical side. Personally, for me when I was triggered within the fight or flight all I was doing was “nasty self talking”.
So how do you constantly create an open, free flowing, peaceful feeling between both hemispheres?
Love check yourself each and every morning:
Start by sitting comfortably and breathing in and out three times.
Then ask yourself
What do you need today to feel loved and supported? You might feel a sensation, or get an internal verbal answer or perhaps even an image.
Did you get what you need today?
Now act upon that self awareness and speak kindly to yourself about your need.
If you stumble and the open lines of your brain get a bit staticky DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF, simply say: What was it I needed? Did that change? Go back to your need… what do I feel? What do I need?
Never judge your feelings or your true needs.
Don’t start your day with a broken piece of yesterday!
Speak Loving Kindness:
Cultivate a practice of loving kindness thinking as the first step. Follow that up with thinking and ultimately speaking loving kindness to yourself as well.
So often, through my private coaching sessions, I listen to a client’s story and jot down negative words that she is using about herself. She is often completely unaware of this negative speak. During our time together I share the list with her. She is usually startled at the number of times she refers to herself in a hurtful, unkind way.
How many times a day to you compliment yourself?
Say, Wow! I am really doing a great job at_____!
This is the action item of Speak Loving Kindness:
Each and every day speak or write three compliments to yourself.
If you begin each and every day with an intention or mantra for the day, it is almost like a 2 for 1! By that I mean, you are setting your intention for the day and starting your day with positive speaking. It’s a win/win
Here’s a sample intention: I will move through today with ease and grace.
Here’s a sample mantra: All is well.
The fuel to loving thoughts and desires is faith and when you’re entire system is in fear; faith is interrupted.
Have faith in yourself and shower your thoughts with love.
Act Loving Kindness:
Taking action is key to any practice and the fulfillment of your dreams, whether your dream is a new job, new car, a healthier body, better love affair with your spouse or partner or the dream of parenthood.
Self care that is rooted in awareness, brings in a loving kindness manner that bubbles over to all three: loving kindness thoughts, language and action.
If it feels a bit overwhelming to try to integrate this all at once, commit to 6 days out of 7 and choose one of the three to begin with. Be mindful and practice speaking lovingly for a week. The following week, be mindful and aware of your loving thoughts for a week and then finally be aware and act loving for a week!
I can assure you it will be a powerful loving 21 days!
Join the conversation with me on Facebook and sign up for my newsletter. I want to hear how you are loving yourself this month! https://www.facebook.com/loveandinfertility